February 23, 2007
On stage for a musical competition. My mother is in the crowd. I’m in front of a piano, a girl, chunky, short brown hair, to my left with violin, a girl behind me on some other instrument. We play the first song wonderfully, perfectly. The next song, I’m handed a book of sheet music and I try to find the page, with directions whispered across stage from short chunk. I realize at this point that I’ve never played this song before and that I don’t know how to read music. No worry, right? She starts in and somehow I lose the page-I had planned on just winging it, since I was alright at that all through choir, eh? Well, I start in on the piano and for the most part it sounds alright, kinda experimental, right, but she stops playing and I keep going and the more I go the worse it sounds and all of a sudden she says stop, it’s over. The judge doesn’t wanna hear our last song and has disqualified us because I couldn’t play at all. I walk off stage and we’re all angry at eachother. But I keep telling them it was pretty good for the first time we’ve ever played it and I tell the girl who’d been sitting behind me on (drums?) that I don’t know how to read music. She sympathizes.
Into the audience I go where my family is. I tell them I’m leaving, they understand, because I am pissed and naturally wouldn’t want to stick around after such a large embarrassment.
Somehow I’m at home, cooking pasta (from the Polaroid video I watched last night) and my phone is sitting near the pot. There are lots of things on the stove and they keep catching on fire. My phone catches fire, on the tip where the battery charger goes in, twice. Smell of plastic is strong. I go to the bathroom and find all my mother’s expensive nice coats in a clogged toilet. I start to worry what has happened to her.
Sara, age 7 is there. David fox is her father and we can see him as we talk to him on a phone from the next building over. Is he shaving or is he on the phone in his office? Either way I’ve got to get her back to him.
I hop in a car with john owens. It’s soooo hot outside. I ask him if we can open the sunroof but he doesn’t respond. We’re smiling and happy. He’s taking me to sara’s dad’s house (justin’s house) and I’m trying to give him directions. All of a sudden we’re in a field, a road field, surrounded by beautiful bright pink/magenta flowers, so tall on all sides. A house far to the left. Green grasses and we’re just driving through this strange fieldroad. I tell john immediately, “turn around! This is not a road!” and as soon as I say that we see arrows in the grass, obviously indicating which lane was which and that it was ok for cars to be here.
I tell john we need to stop and ask this farmer in this field how to get to the urban subdivision. He wont get out to ask him so I do, getting nettles on me as I go. He smiles, “there are lots of urban subdivisions around here” but I’m not stupid, I specify which, and he points out that the road we were on would almost but not quite get us there, but that the road above us that we somehow narrowly missed was the obvious road to it the whole time. We trek out on the better road.
