Early feb, maybe late jan:
Visiting Jason in jail-he has done something minor-forgotten to file some papers or something and now he’s got to spend days in jail. I am visiting as much as I can because I love the dear boy and because I visit so much the front desk persons look up my info and realize I’ve committed this same crime, so I am to go to jail for like a month or something.
My first day or so I spend there, dressed in blue like a hospital almost, and try to find things to do. I’m let out for a little while (or maybe I escape? That seems to be more like it) and I go to this log cabin where my family lives to tell them I have to go to jail. This cabin is right on the water—a river runs within feet of the front door, and there is a house across the river. We’re in this room lounging on couches and a knock is at the door. I get up to get it and pass by a cooler underneath a table which smells so strongly of pot (I can smell the pot even in the dream). When I get to the door theres a woman there on the other side. I ask ‘who is it?’ she won’t say. The top of the door has glass windows. I can see/feel her on the other side, head cocked at weird angle, pressed against the door. She has a ponytail. I ask again who is it. She says a name I remembered days after the dream but can now not remember. I don’t believe her-she took too long to respond. I feel she is a dark being. I do not open the door. I see her turn and she dives headfirst into the water, gracefully, without a splash. Realize: she is part of the water, she came from the water.
Then we are on the riverbank watching the neighbors across the river, their teenage kids practicing some dance routine for school the next day. Everyone claps except for dad, who yells NO!
See, to get to school they must get in a boat and go down the river. But something in the river has been killing teenagers, mostly girls. We don’t know yet what it is.
A man comes to the door. I let him in. he is handsome with long hair. He goes and jumps in the river. I come to realize that the girl is floating just under the surface, and he is deep down. Together they make the river work, floating in a line straight down to the bottom.
We are going on a crusade. My father is leading it. At one point the man with long hair (or my father) leans over and kiss me on the lips. I cant tell when it is happening whether he is kissing me or the person whose back I’m leaned up against, who was maybe my little sister. But I realize when he pulls away that he was kissing me.
My mother and I are walking along the riverbank. The sun is setting, the scene is of the natural bridge. Dad’s there too but walks a ways off. I am telling her that I have to go to jail. She says I should have paid the bills and that I should have to do my time. That mom, always siding with the enemy.
We pass a small wooden crate on the riverside. In it are baby ducks eating the dead bodies of ducks, and a rat with a bloody tampon sticking out of it. Mom comments how disgusting the ducks are for eating the dead things.
