May 17, 2007
I am only writing this down because it has shaken me so this morning and for the last twenty minutes I’ ve been pacing the house and I cant shake the awful feeling it gave me.
It began with… how relevant, a party at jason’s. this girl was there, a girl I certainly thought had a thing for him, and maybe even vice versa. There were only two or three others there, friends, people I should’ve been comfortable around. The apartment space was large and strange. Darkish, with people under a poker table-like light being illuminated while I sat in another room adjacent, on the couch, facing the scene, while this girl poured over Jason. She wasn’t nearly as pretty as me but I knew that with my mood by the end of the night she could easily become more appealing because I was feeling alienated, I was annoyed, and I was about to go home.
More people arrived and of course wanted me to stay, but I suddenly stood up and walked away from the couch as if to leave and wanted to simply leave with only an ‘I’m leaving’ over my shoulder but I considered his wrath (or feelings maybe) for a moment and thought better of it. We’re facing each other against a pinkish wall with people behind, beside, and in front of us. We’re conversing how he’ll come over to my place tonight to sleep with me. He said he wouldn’t be done with the party till 7:30 am and then had to work at 9:30 and I kept telling him it didn’t matter to me, fine, sleep wherever (because honestly I was afraid of him and wanted him nowhere near me, probably ever again) and then made a conscious effort to speak more nicely to him in front of all these people who were watching me yell at their ‘leader’.
I just witnessed from my window a mother yelling at her three beautiful very small (three or four years old) children… two boys and a skipping blonde girl in a pink sundress and it made me very sad. She yells at them and they continue to skip down the street behind her, unaffected. For now.
Finally I leave… but somehow have to come back for some reason and I’m creeping around behind the closed doors of the party looking for a different way (there was some kind of danger and I don’t know if I was running from it or trying to protect the people in the party from it) but eventually it follows me and two others to a field… we run and run and finally choose a couple bushes to wrap around ourselves. I get in one bush with one person, behind him. The other person takes a nearby bush. We are holding onto this bush with all our might. It is so abnormal, and stretches and bends like a spider web but a very strong one, when our heads brush the ceiling and push at its sides.
The enemy comes. He is a man with followers, three or four. They maybe come on horses.
The person in the nearby bush is captured. We can see all that is going on through this thin web around us but somehow he cannot see us. The minions ask him what about the others? He says ‘I know where they are’
He has longish dark hair of course and is handsome. With his words of discovery I am not afraid for somehow I still believe we are hidden well and he is either bluffing or using metaphors.
The man in front of me is captured, and not very long after so am I. He pulls me out from behind and I am soon whisked off to another dimension.
In this dimension, women are sex slaves. We are forced to wear strange, confining costumes, forced to like it, forced to obey the “Degratti” who is the master and forced to have sex with him in whatever painful or demeaning way he wishes.
We are all sitting around in a circle at one point and he forces them all to tell why they love what they do. Now apparently the job of sex slave is something he can control our minds enough to (at least in front of him and others) pretend we enjoy thoroughly. The set of three girls to my right are very vivid in their cream colored dresses, all of different styles. One has her hair/arms in rollers in angel wings at her back and cannot move, until she is done speaking, when the angel wings in hair rollers turn into a snake and join her wrist to the girl’s next to her, whose turn it is now to speak.
Later a few girls and I are in the lounge of the degratti and another man is there. He turns away and with one motion of his hand turns his face into a beautiful woman’s. He is excited about having sex with the degratti tonight, as a woman with a dick. This will be the first time the degratti has experienced this.
Somehow of course I end up in the bed with them, and my smooth naked sweet womanness soon makes the degratti ask the man/woman to leave. I am lying naked against his back and am kissing lightly, sweetly and touching. I am not touching his genitals.
Soon enough he is behind me with his dick between my legs but not inside me. He is about to penetrate, soon enough, and suddenly the space beyond the giant modern bed in the degratti’s bedroom turns into a porthole to another dimension, through which I see my father, who currently represents my mother as well, my family, my old life away from this hell of sex slave life. I cry out to him and run to him and expect as I cross the boundary between degratti and old life to be stopped by a wall of illusion or the degratti to run after me but neither happens and I end up safe on the other side, degratti closed behind me.
I am now in a sort of factory/basement and there are many people there.
My little sister is there and colin as well. I go running towards this cellar through which I expect to run forever and Katie says oh I know where she’s going and colin says no I know where she is headed.
Through the cellar door I am kind of in an old crawlspace at the top of a house. It is almost an attic but not quite. There are a pigeon or two, maybe. Eventually I crawl out into greenery and a small field of it. I am still trying to run from the degratti. Here I lose details I knew better upon awakening, but now I only remember… eventually an older woman comes and three others. It is chapter two of the epic, the second part of the movie series, and it starts with a P. portmanteau, psychosis, something like that.
To recapture control of the world, the oldish woman wants to buy two pastries in one to-go bag from starbucks. The pastries hold the power, not because they are pastries but simply because that happens to be what the power was stashed in. I am behind a sort of counter yet still in this field with one side containing the shed/cellar/attic I came out of.
I refuse to sell her the pastries. I slowly make a wet cappuccino for the big man who is with her and I refuse to give her the power. What can she do?
Nothing.
